Sunday, August 7, 2011

Sagz Jeans

Sagz Jeans


A new pairing: similar to Cabernet Sauvignon and steak, ice cream and cake, underwear and . . . jeans? So now we pick out snap-in underwear to match the derrière dragging jeans? Garanimals anyone?

How is this different from having pants that actually go up to your waist? Wasn’t the whole point for the hip hoppers (“hop hippers?”) to take a risk with their clothing? Here we have the appearance of risk without the risk. What jeopardy is there? The parent inventors have taken it away, created a safer, kinder clothing instead of letting the kids learn the hard way that if you leave your slacks low, your ass will get chapped and land you kissing the concrete.

“ . . . the pants can be snapped to the waist-hugging underwear at three different heights . . . “ Doesn’t this remind anyone of infant onesies? Or, God forbid, the crotch snapping body suits popular in the early ‘80’s? Ridiculous.

And yet, the parents; those entrepreneurs, will undoubtedly make money hand over fist or cloth over tush. Envision it now; in 50 years former hop-hippers with differently decorated Depends as an option will surf for online purchases. “A pair of Sagz jeans [currently] costs about $80, including a pair of snapped-in boxers.” I can think of better ways to spend 80 bucks but I’m sure, that in a few years, this will be just like pairing Dockers with a short sleeved, Polo shirt; well, maybe in quite a few years . . .

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